Thursday, November 1, 2007 ;
i could have said so much more.
in your face, right there, but i chose not too.
ain't it just waste of my breathe and time?
i'm not angry, fine, maybe i am, but just a little.
but more of dissapointed with your attitude.
please just understand that.
when you call, the scene flashes through my mind,
over, and over, and over.
besides, you will never understand what my point is.
it's not the first time i brought this up to you.
maybe the 4th? or 5th. this year.
if you thought it through, and was really sorry,
what bout the other 'sorry-s' you hurled?
you said it just for the sake of saying, no?
do you really not understand, or you feign pure ignorance?
it's not really about saturday's incident.
but, so, so, much more.
accusing me of not giving my best at our friendship.
don't talk like you know me very well.
actually, i know how traumatising it is,
to have your friend not accepting your apologies.
but i just can't bring myself to.
im too scared of you.
also, i don't want anything more than normal friends.
i really don't.
cos at the bottom of my heart, i don't think we can.
i don't want to betray myself, or befriend you out of guilt.
just pretending like we're close or whatever, makes me uncomfortable.
saying all this makes me more guilty than i already am.
just, lessen the pain, and get my point.
it would make my life so much easier.
sorry, i know it hurts, but i have to be brutally honest about my feelings.
The pain sets in,
&I don't wanna cry,
I only feel gravity
&I wonder why;
6:16 PM
